I'm back?

 WOW! It's been a little over 4 years since I've written anything on here. There's been a lot going on in my life (good and bad) I don't even know where to begin. I thought if I started blogging again, maybe it would give me some much needed therapy. I'll start with the greatest, most wonderful things that have happened in the past few years.
 Three years ago this coming Valentine's Day my first grandchild was born. Her name is Lily and she's the most adorable little bug (Grandma's nickname for her) and since then I've been blessed with two more grandchildren and they are equally adorable! Liam, who turned 1 December 13th and Emma who will be 1 February 23rd. They are the loves of my life! I have yet to meet Liam though and I hope to soon.
 Liam lives with his mommy and daddy (my son) in Qualicum Beach on Vancouver Island British Columbia, Canada. It might be just over the Washington State border, but from where I live it might as well be a million miles away. My heart aches knowing that he has turned a year old and I have yet to be able to give him hugs and kisses. Lily and Emma, what can I say? They fill my heart with joy! My mom was right. The best part about being a grandparent is you get to spoil them rotten and then send them home.  Grandma and Papa spoil them, especially Papa. Sometimes I think Papa enjoy's it more than I do :)
 Well enough for now. I'll be back soon. I need to get my thoughts together before the next installment. Hint....Scoliosis or mental illness? The latter is more depressing. Pun not intended.

IMHO

I know I haven't posted anything in awhile, and after such a long absence maybe I should be talking about what I did over the summer....but I'm not.

I'm sure you have heard about the tragedy here in California. 8 people died at the California 200 off-road race. My heart goes out to the family and friends of those who passed and of those who were injured. Being an off-roader myself it's troubling to hear of such news.

Another troubling report about this story is how race fan's were throwing rocks at the driver of the truck. As sad as this accident is, it was just that, an accident. Those people made a conscience decision to stand next to the road. I'm sure they knew the risks of standing so close to the road that they could reach out and touch any one of the vehicles that passed by.

What does it mean?

I had a strange dream last night. I was dreaming of my mom. My mom passed away in February of 1996, even though it's not unusual to dream about her. When I do it's usually in past tense not in present tense. Last night it was in present tense.

It started off with my mom coming down here to my house. We were going to take a trip to Kate's in Australia. In my dream there was no ocean to cross and I drove all the way. Next part of the dream that I remember is Kate serving (American style) breakfast to her Aussie and American friends (who now live in Australia) but she's trying to raise enough money so she can move back, so she's charging them for breakfast.

Then I remember my mom arguing with somebody (which was not in her nature) because Kate slaved so hard making french toast and the person didn't like it. Then I remember Kate saying something like "that was 60 cents down the drain". The whole time I was doing dishes (which I hate doing) and then Kate got mad at me because I wasn't being fast enough or she thought I missed a dish, something like that. I don't remember it clearly.

My dream ended there, because I woke up to lights coming from the living room, at first I thought it was a cop car because the lights were red and blue. I got up and realized that Sis was up watching cartoons, it was 4:30 in the a.m.

A few things I've learned over the years...

Here are a few things I've learned over the years, either through my own experiences or through other's experiences. These are in no particular order...

Always, and I mean always. Wash your hands thoroughly before rubbing your eyes, scratching your nose or using the bathroom after handling jalapeno peppers.

Never assume, that just because your dad raises Honey Bee's and your not screaming, that the Bumble Bee who has just landed on your knee isn't going to sting you.

Always make sure that your foot is firmly placed while climbing into a vehicle that requires running boards.

Never assume that you have learned your lesson the first time you cut yourself climbing through a barbed wire fence.

Never turn your back on a flock of geese.

Never assume you are far enough through a door way before you turn around. You'll blacken an eye for sure.

Always make sure that your body is fully out of the car before shutting the door. I've bruised my hip many times doing this.

Never! And I mean never, pull a http://http//www.zoingoboingo.com/ Zoingo Boingo out from underneath a chair. It will snap back and get you every time, and you'll end up on crutches.

Multiple pairs of underwear will not protect your bottom.

When drinking, never assume you can jump over that board with a nail sticking out of it.

Never assume that just because your sitting on a skate board, that you can't fall off and break your hand.

Never throw a pipe at a tire swing, it will bounce back and hit you in the eye.

I'll argue with you till we're blue in the face. Skunks smell better then stock yards.

And lastly

Never plunge a toilet while barefoot.

That's MY JOB!

My daughter turned 10 in February, she still plays with Barbie's and believes in Santa Clause. She is my only daughter and the youngest of my four children. I believe there is an appropriate time and place when a mother should have "the talk" about a girls changing body and sex. Well, unfortunately the 13 yr old next door neighbor girl has beaten me to it.

I knew that this was the year I was going to have to talk to my daughter about how her body was going to change soon. Like having to wear a bra and how she (hopefully not to early) would eventually get her period. I wanted to be the one who told her about it. Well a few months ago the girl next door told her about it. What she couldn't tell her, is why?

Last night my daughter informed me that the girl next door has now told her about sex (intercourse). Ok, this is where I'm drawing a line. I'm wondering if I should confront her alone or perhaps include her father in on this conversation. Either way I'm confronting her with this. I'm not going to ask her to stop. I'm going to tell her.

Teaching my daughter about the facts of life is MY JOB, not some un-informed 13 yr old girls job. Now I need to find out from my daughter exactly what was told to her, so I can make sure she is educated about it correctly. I would of preferred to have this talk next year or the year after that, but it's obvious that's not happening.

Letting go..

Here I am sitting on my ass, when I really should be cleaning my house. But I find this blogging thing is really very therapeutic. I started this blog in (looking for date) OMG! in December 2008! WOW! If had known how therapeutic this was back in 2008, I would have written (typed) more often. Anyway, here I sit shirking my responsibilities. Like the decorative plate my mom had hanging on the wall said "My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy". I loved that plate! Screw the house today. I have other things on my mind.

My eighteen year old is going for his drivers license test today. Although I'm excited for him, a little part of me hopes he doesn't pass it. Oh I know, I sound like a horrible mother! I'm just having a little trouble letting go I guess. Gaining independence has many steps, and getting your drivers license is a big one . Next is graduation and then college, and honestly I don't know if he's ready for it all. Like most kids, Adam looks at life through rose-colored glasses. Although a little naivety is kind of refreshing he's 18, it's time to grow up.

I try to teach him about the real world through my own experiences (I've been through a lot) but all I get are eye rolls or "that was you!" The kids even more stubborn then I am, and I didn't think that was possible. Don't get me wrong, he's a GOOD kid. He has a good head on his shoulders. But there's always a part of me that worries he's not always going to do the right thing or make the right choices.

I've always taught my kids to be responsible for themselves and not to blame others for their own mistakes. I don't believe in peer pressure. If one of my kids do something that they shouldn't have, they better not blame their friends. Because they didn't do anything, that they didn't want to do.

I know he doesn't think he needs me anymore. But he does still need my advice, whether he knows it or not. Hell! I'm 47 and would love it if my parents were still around to give me advice. Hopefully he'll take advantage of the fact that I'm still around to give him advice or just lend an ear or a shoulder when he needs one.

Well surprise, surprise. I was called a bitch today, by an 8 year old. No, not by one of my kids, a neighbor kid. That's alright though, his mama has to deal with him not me. The house next door to me has been empty for over a year now (it was a foreclosure) another neighbor kid took his BB Gun and broke some windows a few months back. Needless to say, his BB gun was taken away. I always watch the house as closely as I can, because let's face it, I don't think the kids around here have ever been taught to respect other peoples property. If they have, it's not enforced.

Anyway, I caught potty mouth boy and BB boy messing around by the (outdoor) hot water heater to the house. Naturally I got on them about being on property that doesn't belong to them, and the dangers of messing around with the heater (it's obviously not turned on, but they don't know that) and about other neighbors possibly calling the police because somebody is trespassing. And for that, potty mouth boy called me a bitch. Then I remembered a homage to the word "bitch". I'd like to share it with you.

BITCH

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak up against it, they call me a bitch.
I have the courage and strength to be who I truly am, and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I should be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
So go ahead, try and stomp on me. Try to douse my inner flame, try and squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed
If this makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

Beauty In Total Control of Herself