My daughter turned 10 in February, she still plays with Barbie's and believes in Santa Clause. She is my only daughter and the youngest of my four children. I believe there is an appropriate time and place when a mother should have "the talk" about a girls changing body and sex. Well, unfortunately the 13 yr old next door neighbor girl has beaten me to it.
I knew that this was the year I was going to have to talk to my daughter about how her body was going to change soon. Like having to wear a bra and how she (hopefully not to early) would eventually get her period. I wanted to be the one who told her about it. Well a few months ago the girl next door told her about it. What she couldn't tell her, is why?
Last night my daughter informed me that the girl next door has now told her about sex (intercourse). Ok, this is where I'm drawing a line. I'm wondering if I should confront her alone or perhaps include her father in on this conversation. Either way I'm confronting her with this. I'm not going to ask her to stop. I'm going to tell her.
Teaching my daughter about the facts of life is MY JOB, not some un-informed 13 yr old girls job. Now I need to find out from my daughter exactly what was told to her, so I can make sure she is educated about it correctly. I would of preferred to have this talk next year or the year after that, but it's obvious that's not happening.
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That is SO WRONG! I would definitely include the father/parent figure in the conversation, because HE needs to know what his daughter is doing, and maybe he can get out of her "exactly" what was told to your girl...
ReplyDeleteIt's probably time to start working the "minor" facts of life into conversations with your daughter, but like you, I would want to save the big stuff until she's a bit older.
At 10 years old, she's just a baby, and she doesn't need to hear the whole story yet!
*hugs*
Thank You Kate! Kids grow up way to fast as it is anyways. Especially girls! Especially now! I see girls running around with barely any clothes on and make-up that would rival a clown, all the time. I would like to hang on to my daughter innocence forever, but if not forever at least a couple more years.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one, because kids will always do this and they share so much misinformation. I didn't have girls and my husband had the privilege of having "the talk" with the boys. Even so, they would come home with so much "crap" and I'm sure we didn't know the half of it.
ReplyDeleteI personally, would not involve this girls father. He will either defend his daughter to death or reek havoc on her. Either way will not accomplish much.
I would keep this between you and your daughter. Don't make everyone else more important. She's 10. She has a voice. She can tell you what this girl said. At 10 yrs of age you are still the greatest influence.
Talk to your daughter. Tell her how you feel. Let her talk to you. Then make a decision.
My mother always listened. I always knew I could go to her. I wasn't afraid of her.
You're the parent and telling your daughter about life IS your job. I love hearing a Mom say that. So many don't do this anymore. They'd rather be their child's "friend" than a parent. Good for you. Good luck!
I went ahead and talked to the girl next door. We had a very nice chat. I explained to her my feelings. She understood and that was that. She did say she was sorry, and next time she knows to tell sis to ask me :)
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